Good news dear readers.
If you’re wondering,
I’m still alive.
Very much alive. 
It’s been almost 2 weeks since my last post and all of you must be thinking that I’ve either committed suicide or I am absorbed in a bubble of self-shaming extravaganza for not being able to continue completing the project quicker.
And if you’re thinking the latter you’re absolutely right.
Sometimes I should remind myself that as well as adult life commitments and the overall running of our lives we also count with very limited holiday availability.
And we also have masses of laundry to do.
It’s a truthful utter shame not being über-rich, I know. Cos in that case I would bring all the help in the universe to do it for me while I drink iced tea in the garden and I ” inspect” the work suited in a gorgeous white linen number with a whip.
So as you see I am as limited as Blanche was in her wheelchair exposed to the cruelties of baby Jane.
The other very extenuating helping factors to my lateness are overall tiredness, this horrible hot weather ( feels like mummy crotch level of heat and dryness here ) and the fact that we’ve decided to do some gardening even if we didn’t absolutely have to.
Because I couldn’t wait,
Because I’m impatient,
Because the front of the house had to reflect this ASAP:
Expectation
reality 
( it’s been so hot that the turf is getting scorched !)
Multitasking, is not my friend. Specially bearing in mind the erratic way that my brain seems to be working in lately.
A Little advice for those of you that are embarking in the exciting prospect of renovating a house:
Make a plan,
Draft it to complete detail,
Create a timeline,
Ensure you can meet your expectations,
And then,
Burn all of this in the fireplace and keep sanding that staircase!
Wake up!
Because if you’re like me, you’re quite likely to get distracted even when you’re cleaning your extensive surface of marble floors .
Which brings me to our other ” marble” problem.
The fireplaces.
Daniel very gently contacted a company that specialises in reinstating fireplaces and rebuilding chimneys and flus, and thanks to this call We have to face the prospect that we’re gonna be at least £3000 poorer as long as there’s no surprises.
No surprises???!!
What is this builder expecting to find in my walls?
The remains of Queen Hatshepsut?
I’m all about the excitement and the glory of fancy but all of this costs money, and your truly is a proletarian princess.
So other than working to earn money to pay for all this costly stuff and glossing the hell out of the house, my weeks have consisted on paint stripping the staircase and steps
yes, one of the previous owners loved pink so much that the whole staircase was painted this color. I think that this is the house where barbie came to die.
Its all coming out nicely, it’s just one of those very time consuming and absorbing jobs, but it will worth it in the end.
Whilst I’ve been doing absolutely nothing and procrastinating binge watching the Durrells in Amazon prime. I’ve been planning the decorative scheme of the landing and I might have bought this:
Say hello to carmen, the landing monkey. A completely unnecessary expense of sheer extravagance that probably is going to be in the way till we wallpaper and carpet this area. 
But she’s gorgeous,
And more importantly,
I can’t return her to China, where she came from.
All the landing upstairs will have an African animal theme, and in even planning on acquiring one of this massive fibreglass monstrosities 
All to the service of the Jumanji realness.
Let’s not forget that I need to lay flooring in the last bedroom so I can start sorting my craft-room and millions of other important jobs that are more urgent than living my own “out of Africa ” fantasy.
So stay tuned and we will discover this together what happens in weeks to come with our crazy project, cos as I said, there’s no set plan in my tortured mind. 
( please, do watch the Durrells, it’s a formidable show )
Yours truly,
Ben
The 1903 house 